I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
