Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
