my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
