Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
