we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It's just like the Real World with babies
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
