the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
