His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I love you.
Bad choice
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
