My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
