Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
