how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
zippers are such a cool invention
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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