Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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