Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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