highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
