Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
