my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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