My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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