I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
