Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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