Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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