you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
