R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
