Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
