I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
what day is it and did you see me today?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
