omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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