Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
