piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
