how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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