why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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