well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
