Porn is love you can see.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
