Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
A bitchslap is in order.
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