went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
