your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
