We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
