When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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