So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
