You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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