Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
