I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
