Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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