we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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