If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
