Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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