i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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