pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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