Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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