after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
