Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
sarcasm needs its own font
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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