I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
