Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Randomize
